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Then, when you send out invitations, make sure the addressing is clear. Let them know that you either can’t afford to host a larger group or simply don’t have space at the venue, and leave it at that—no negotiating allowed.

For anyone invited with a guest, be sure to put the guest’s name on the invitation, too (i.e. There’s no hard-and-fast reciprocation rule, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t ruffle feathers by returning the favor.

If the couple was married in the past few years, and you have both the space and the budget to invite them, consider doing so (unless, for example, they are two of your 12 cousins and the other ten won’t make the cut).

To give your guests a little more flexibility, consider a “black tie optional” dress code instead, which lets your guests know that dark suits or cocktail dresses are totally appropriate while still guaranteeing you’ll have a batch of gents in bowties and satin lapels. If you’re staunch vegetarians and have planned a menu where no one will miss the meat, go ahead.

After all, your wedding should reflect who you are as a couple!

See more: Out With the Old, In With the New: Wedding Etiquette Rules Rewritten Plus ones might be the most common topic when it comes to wedding guest list etiquette.

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